If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
