Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize