found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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