Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
id be glad to
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
