He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
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There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
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You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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