my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize