Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My first STD was from a foam party
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
