Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize