All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
