He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
