There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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