Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
