with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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