And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
