Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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