I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
it glows. i had to have it.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
