I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize