No awkward lesbian experiences without me
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
