I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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