so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
