grandma shit on top of the toilet
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
