He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The uberlube is also flammable
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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