I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
