return my video game
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
