Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
