I'm gonna have a badass scar
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
