Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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