Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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