the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
