Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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