Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
