how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
