You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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