in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
