can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We are all done wearing pants today
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
