So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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