super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
