Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
