pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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