Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
