he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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