YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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