i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
