why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
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He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
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Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
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