My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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