He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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