In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
