I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
