its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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