I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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