fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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