I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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