no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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