This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize