i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize