Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
