I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
