I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
