there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The beer is more important than you right now.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
