I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
