the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
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In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
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Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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